Speaking of Wind...
I am reminded of a story that took place quite a few years ago. Michigan summers can get brutal, and this day was all that and then some. Working outside on black pavement did not help out at all, either, so there we were, slogging through the oppressive heat as best we could, drinking gallons and gallons of water just to lose it all through our pores.
We knew it was going to storm. We had been lazily watching the weather on the computer, watching the system move across Wisconsin. We had seen this kind of thing before, and really didn't think much of it right away.
It got weird when we got a call from one of our employees who lived in Holland. He was calling to warn us about the violent storms heading our way. He was actually in his basement, and had lost power.
We then looked closer the radar loop we had, and decided that it would be prudent to start rolling up the windows on all our vehicles, perhaps close the hangar doors before the storm hit. I was on the ramp, outside, walking to one of our trucks to roll the windows up when I saw it coming.
The wind picked up more than I have ever seen it pick up. It went from dead still to gusting probably close to 25-30 mph, nearly instantaneously. I felt stinging sand blast me as I ran to the truck in a vain attempt to close the windows before the rain came. I happened to glance up in time to see the rain running us down from across the ramp. Usually you can kinda see where the rain is, and you can watch it approach. But this was a rain wall. I have not seen one before or since. This was an angry, gray, violent, nearly solid wall of precipitation. I could not see buildings on the other side of it. As I watched, the rest of the airport and our ramp disappeared behind the curtain of water.
I was instantly soaked from head to toe, and I hadn't even made it to the truck yet. I finally did, laughing that it was probably pointless now anyway, and ran to help close the hangar doors.
On my way there, my supervisor yelled above the wind and rain that there was an aircraft out on the ramp that was not tied down, and could I go tie it down please. So I turned around and began running against the wind to tie down this airplane.
The wind was still gusting violently, and the rain was making it nearly impossible to see anything. As I neared the aircraft, which was a fairly large aircraft that weighs nearly 5,000 pounds empty, the wind gusted strong enough to turn the aircraft towards me! It jumped over the chocks in front of the wheels, and began to roll towards me.
I turned around and ran the other way. The last thing I wanted to do was to get run over by an empty airplane!
We went out later and measured, and this big airplane had moved just over ten feet from where we had parked it, as well as turned 90 degrees from the direction we had parked it in.
wingnut
26 June 2008
25 June 2008
Winds of Change
In the Bible, and later Christian tradition, the Holy Spirit is often compared to wind. A mighty rushing wind prepared Elijah to be in the presence of God while on Mt Horeb. Likewise, the sound of a mighty rushing wind filled the house of the apostles when the Holy Spirit was sent to them on Pentecost.
We carry that idea forward still today. We often use wind as a metaphor for God: We cannot see the wind, but we can see what it does, just like we cannot see God, but we can see what God does.
We carry that idea forward still today. We often use wind as a metaphor for God: We cannot see the wind, but we can see what it does, just like we cannot see God, but we can see what God does.
We are fascinated by the mysterious power of wind. We sing about it, we write about it, we talk about it. We study it and the weather patterns that cause it and are moved along by it. We know a great deal about it. We can tell you why the wind blows, why there are areas of different air pressure, and how the high pressure areas send wind to the lower pressure areas, and we can tell you that this mechanism is responsible for our weather patterns. We can tell you that for some reason, way up high in the sky, there is a "highway" of wind current, faster by far than the air around it, and that this current pulls along different weather systems.
But all of this knowledge is different that actually being in the wind. We've seen the guys on the Weather Channel getting knocked over by the wind, we've felt a cold, brutal wind blow down from the frozen Canadian wilderness, we've felt the oven-like wind through the Grand Canyon. We have also felt the calm, gentle breeze of a calm, gentle summer day. In the ancient Greek language, breath was the same word as wind, and we have also felt the close breath of our spouse sleeping next to us. Experiencing wind is something different that knowing all the information about wind.
For pilots, weather takes on an urgency it doesn't have on the ground. We study the weather, we check again and again the wind speed, we watch like hawks anything flapping in the breeze. For flying is wholly dependant on the weather. If the wind is too strong, I cannot fly my airplane well, perhaps not at all. If the wind is blowing in a certain direction, I will need to take off and land on a runway aligned with the wind. Even when airborne, I need to check the wind, monitor the wind, and make sure that I fly accordingly. The wind can blow me wildly off course, and I need to make constant adjustments to ensure that I end up where I want to be.
When I was learning to fly, I was taught about crosswinds. Crosswinds are generally any wind that is blowing across the path of the aircraft. My instructor took me up to about three thousand feet, and made me line up on a road that was going north and south. I was to hold the aircraft straight north along this road for as long as I could. So I pointed the nose of the airplane straight north, and followed the road. Immediately, I could see that we were drifting. I was not able to stay with the road. I was flying straight north, but the wind was blowing from the west, and blowing me to the west with it. What I needed to to, in order to stay along that north-south road, was to point the airplane into the wind slightly, to compensate for the crossing effect it had on the airplane.
God is like the wind. We can learn many facts about God, we can study theology and philosophy much like we study meteorology and weather. We can discuss endlessly the theological nuances and subtleties in different religions and ideas.
God is like the wind. We can learn many facts about God, we can study theology and philosophy much like we study meteorology and weather. We can discuss endlessly the theological nuances and subtleties in different religions and ideas.
But all of this is different than experiencing God. Experiencing God is something that cannot nearly be described. It is a deeply moving experience that transcends rational thought, much the same way as learning about wind in school is vastly different than standing outside your hotel in Miami as Hurricane Whomever comes ashore.
What we fail to consider most often is what we will do with the experience. When I talk about wind as a pilot, I talk about what I'm going to do about it. Wind demands action of a pilot. When I experience a crosswind, I have to use different techniques than the ones I use when there is no crosswind. I have to point my airplane in a different direction to get to my destination. I have to land differently than I would otherwise.We don't talk about God this way either. We talk about experiencing God, but usually the conversation just lingers there, as if the experience is the end goal. But that is not the case. When we experience God, we are asked to act. In the beginning of the Book of Acts, Jesus' earthly ministry has just ended, in a brutal and hope-crushing way. His disciples are gathered in Jerusalem, and are wondering what to do now. It seems as though the "rulers and powers" that Paul would speak of in Ephesians have won. The Rabbi is dead, and the leaders of society are concerned with flushing out the rest of his radical followers. Then something happens. The apostles hear a mighty rushing wind. They experience God, and are driven to action.
Learning about God is one thing.But the experience alone is not the goal. Just like a pilot flying in a crosswind, if we experience God and do not act on it, we will be blown off course.
wingnut
18 June 2008
The Freedom of Flight
One of the beautiful things about flying is the freedom gained in the air. It won't take you long to search out a week's worth of aviation quotes to read, and nearly all of them will mention in some way the freedom of the skies. The obvious ways are no roads, less traffic, and, for the most part, point-to-point travel to your destination. The quotes you will find, however, will not mention these pedestrian concerns.
The obvious physical freedoms speak to something deeper, more elusive. This is the stuff of quotes. This deeper freedom cannot be found in the window seat on an airliner. This freedom can sit in only a few select seats at the front of the aircraft. One can fly somewhere, but true freedom means piloting your aircraft. Have you ever ridden somewhere in a car, and then later not been able to figure out how to get home? You don't know because you didn't drive.
Likewise, you have not really flown until you have felt the rudder pedals under your feet, until the control yoke has laid lightly in your hand. Until you have felt the slipstream fight against your control inputs, you haven't been flying.
The obvious physical freedoms speak to something deeper, more elusive. This is the stuff of quotes. This deeper freedom cannot be found in the window seat on an airliner. This freedom can sit in only a few select seats at the front of the aircraft. One can fly somewhere, but true freedom means piloting your aircraft. Have you ever ridden somewhere in a car, and then later not been able to figure out how to get home? You don't know because you didn't drive.
Likewise, you have not really flown until you have felt the rudder pedals under your feet, until the control yoke has laid lightly in your hand. Until you have felt the slipstream fight against your control inputs, you haven't been flying.
This freedom of flight is found only when pilot and airplane come together. A pilot must become the airplane, using his intellect and judgement and physical skills to bring about the desired results. An airplane must become the pilot: the physical embodiment of the pilot's will. Many words have been put to paper in attempts to explain this curious phenomenon, but most fall short, as do mine. There is nothing to do but experience it for yourself.
One of the most vivid glimpses I have witnessed in my own experience is when I was in flight school. My first instructor was pretty mean, and usually taught through negative reinforcement. He would mock me and laugh at me until I got it right. One day, we were in Grand Haven, and we were getting ready to fly back to Jenison. We were running a bit late due to some maintenance on the aircraft, and he was getting impatient. I reached for the checklist, and began running through it in preparation for departure. He said that I was taking too long, and proceeded to go through the checklist, without the aid of the actual list. He knew the airplane that well, that he was able to complete all the necessary checks in as much time as it has taken you to read this blog post.
He was the airplane. In a way that I could only hope to dream about, he was the airplane. He knew exactly where every switch, every button, every dial was. He could look at a glance, and tell exactly where the needles were on the instruments. He could also, in that glance, tell if they were in the correct place for takeoff. Oil pressure, exhaust temperature, altimeter, engine RPMs, heading indicator, magnetic compass, radios on the right frequency, fuel feeding from both tanks, lights, transponder on and broadcasting the correct code. All in a single glance. When airborne, he could bring the plane into any maneuver as smooth as changing lanes in a car. He willed it, and the airplane did it. Effortless.
This freedom is a direct result of the discipline that is required to fly. Of course, to get licensed, one needs to complete the required training and practice. But after the license, a pilot must constantly discipline himself against laziness, complacency, fatigue, and a whole army of other human and other factors that conspire to bring the flight to ruin. There are many old adages in aviation, but one sticks out as my personal favorite: "Never let the airplane take you somewhere your mind hasn't been already."
In order to experience freedom in the air, the pilot must always be thinking ahead, yet always focused on the moment. There is no room for the argument you had with your boss, or the disagreement with your wife, or bills, or fixing the car, or doctor bills, or any of that. When you are flying, you are flying. Nothing else.
The only way to experience the freedom of flight is to give yourself over completely to the airplane and the experience of the moment. To lose yourself, and become the airplane. To lose the airplane, and truly live.
wingnut
17 June 2008
The 32-inch cable-ready color flat screen projection paperweight.
Shan and I recently cancelled our cable subscription. It's actually been about two weeks, and we haven't gone crazy yet, so we must be doing okay. To be honest, it was on most of the time just for noise. I would come home late from work, and turn it on just to relax and eat my dinner. Shan did the same thing when she came home from work.
In the mornings, I would sit and feed Eli while surfing the news and weather, not really watching anything.
We don't really have time to follow our favorite shows. If we do get a chance, and they're on, well, great! If not, it's not the end of the world. The whole concept of "must-see TV" is lost on us, I guess.
We started to wonder when they raised the rates again. We could go out for a nice dinner (really nice dinner) once a month instead. Or, all those shows that we want to keep around, we could buy a season on DVD and still have money left over for lunch, or coffee, or a book or something.
I got a tiny tiny bit worried when Eli would wake up for his middle of the night feedings and when I got him all ready, he would turn his head towards the TV in anticipation, before I even turned it on. Not that I was worried about content or anything. It was just colors for him to stare at. But at the same time, it wasn't something I wanted to necessarily promote.
So we have dropped the cable. Done. Buh-bye. Later.
And in honor of our new found liberation from the boob tube, I am providing you with a short list of pros and cons.
Things we will miss:
Scrubs marathons
The Office
Pastor Melissa Scott (she knows like 20 languages, and uses them all in her two-hour messages)
Fightin' Fridays on the History Channel
TBS
Jon Stewart
Steven Colbert
AMC
Mythbusters
The cable news stations
Weather Channel
Things we will not miss:
MTV
VH1
E! (except for The Soup)
Those disgusting Girls Gone Wild commercials that seem to multiply after dark
All that reality show crap everyone shows now
Iron Chef America (the food is interesting, the show is stupid)
Every channel from 16-30 (except for Pastor Melissa Scott-she knows like 20 languages!)
Billy Mays
Carlos Mencia
TCT (Tri-state Christian Television)
All those stupid exercise programs that tell you you only need to do this for five minutes every other day to look like this! then tell you that you need to eat healthy and find a supplementary exercise routine.
wingnut
In the mornings, I would sit and feed Eli while surfing the news and weather, not really watching anything.
We don't really have time to follow our favorite shows. If we do get a chance, and they're on, well, great! If not, it's not the end of the world. The whole concept of "must-see TV" is lost on us, I guess.
We started to wonder when they raised the rates again. We could go out for a nice dinner (really nice dinner) once a month instead. Or, all those shows that we want to keep around, we could buy a season on DVD and still have money left over for lunch, or coffee, or a book or something.
I got a tiny tiny bit worried when Eli would wake up for his middle of the night feedings and when I got him all ready, he would turn his head towards the TV in anticipation, before I even turned it on. Not that I was worried about content or anything. It was just colors for him to stare at. But at the same time, it wasn't something I wanted to necessarily promote.
So we have dropped the cable. Done. Buh-bye. Later.
And in honor of our new found liberation from the boob tube, I am providing you with a short list of pros and cons.
Things we will miss:
Scrubs marathons
The Office
Pastor Melissa Scott (she knows like 20 languages, and uses them all in her two-hour messages)
Fightin' Fridays on the History Channel
TBS
Jon Stewart
Steven Colbert
AMC
Mythbusters
The cable news stations
Weather Channel
Things we will not miss:
MTV
VH1
E! (except for The Soup)
Those disgusting Girls Gone Wild commercials that seem to multiply after dark
All that reality show crap everyone shows now
Iron Chef America (the food is interesting, the show is stupid)
Every channel from 16-30 (except for Pastor Melissa Scott-she knows like 20 languages!)
Billy Mays
Carlos Mencia
TCT (Tri-state Christian Television)
All those stupid exercise programs that tell you you only need to do this for five minutes every other day to look like this! then tell you that you need to eat healthy and find a supplementary exercise routine.
wingnut
16 June 2008
Happy Fathers Day!
It's a day late, but I don't get online much over the weekends. So go give your Daddies a hug. And maybe a peck on the cheek. I'm gonna stick with a hug, my Daddy has a beard.I hope that Father's Day was everything for you that it was meant to be. It was for me, except for the gazebo.
wingnut
12 June 2008
I may be out of school, but....
...these tests are pretty neat.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and if you're giggling right now, you should take the compliment! Oh, and, I won't make you take them over again.
(these tests have been floating around the blogs I frequent)
This is a religion quiz, it charts out your theological worldview. Pretty neat!
Here's my results:
You scored as a Emergent/Postmodern
You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.
Emergent/Postmodern 96%
Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 71%
Neo orthodox 68%
Classical Liberal 68%
Charismatic/Pentecostal 50%
Modern Liberal 43%
Roman Catholic 39%
Reformed Evangelical 32%
Fundamentalist 11%
And while you're wondering just what your results mean, here's another test, demonstrating your areas of intelligence.
After you're done, it will give you a code so that you can share your results, if you want. My code was: rn1zj6sjv06855rkh if you're interested!
wingnut
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and if you're giggling right now, you should take the compliment! Oh, and, I won't make you take them over again.
(these tests have been floating around the blogs I frequent)
This is a religion quiz, it charts out your theological worldview. Pretty neat!
Here's my results:
You scored as a Emergent/Postmodern
You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.
Emergent/Postmodern 96%
Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 71%
Neo orthodox 68%
Classical Liberal 68%
Charismatic/Pentecostal 50%
Modern Liberal 43%
Roman Catholic 39%
Reformed Evangelical 32%
Fundamentalist 11%
And while you're wondering just what your results mean, here's another test, demonstrating your areas of intelligence.
After you're done, it will give you a code so that you can share your results, if you want. My code was: rn1zj6sjv06855rkh if you're interested!
wingnut
09 June 2008
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear its not too late
-words adapted from Ecclesiastes by Pete Seeger
-music written by Pete Seeger
-as performed by The Byrds, 1965
This past Saturday, I DJ'ed my last show for Complete Music. I entertained my last group of clients. I announced my last dollar dance.
It was a bittersweet day for me. I have been entertaining crowds big and small for ten years, and the horrible experiences were few and far between. I enjoyed it immensely: the music, the interaction, the people I met, my co-workers. It was a very positive thing for me.
I remember when I first started, I was amazed that my boss had the confidence in me to send me out on my own. I had no clue what I was doing, really...sure, I was trained, but three shows later, you're on your own. Luckily, my first show was a 10th anniversary party, not a reception. It was at the Ada Post of the Fraternal Order of Police, and I showed up three and a half hours early to set up and the place wasn't even opened up yet. So while I sat, I wrote down five or six pages of songs, and where they were, so I wouldn't have to look them up during the event. There were only about fifty or so people there, it was a real laid back party, and I had nothing to worry about. It went fine, and I got a $35 tip. Back then, that was a tank of gas and then some!
What followed was ten years of the craziest, busiest life you could want. I was all over West Michigan, as far north as Whitehall, Stanwood, Ravenna, south down to the border a few times, all the way to Lansing, Ann Arbor, Grand Ledge, even one show in Toledo, where my boss and I stayed up with the wedding party in their hotel room until the bride passed out at around 4am. Yeah. I'll bet they enjoyed what was left of their wedding night.
I DJed in most reception halls in the Grand Rapids area. I once tried to keep a list of everywhere I went, but the list grew to four single-spaced, double-columned pages, and I couldn't keep track after that.
I remember awesome shows, like when I was at the Harley Hotel and the bridal party kept giving me $20 bills to play "one more song". I ended up with $80, I think. Four songs. I'll do that forever!
Or when my friend Mike and I played a show together, and everyone was having a great time. After the show, the bride came and hugged both of us, we got a massive hearty handshake from the groom, who thought we did absolutely awesome, they couldn't ask for more. Until Monday, when they called the office and asked for their money back because of our piss-poor comedy routine that we were using. We weren't doing comedy. We both had microphones, and were joking with each other, but no stand-up.
Or the time Mike and I (again!) played a show at the Lansing Children's Museum. We both wanted to just play with all the cool stuff there and let someone else run the system.
Or the high school dance we did, where they actually put sawdust on the floor, and since it was a polished and waxed wood floor, the sawdust just made it even more slippery, and we could slide from one end of the gym to the other when we got a running start.
There were rough times too, just like any other job. I remember watching the groom at one show get into a fight with another guest, during the first song of the night! I can't think of a better way to ruin a reception.
I had to play at a place down in Grand Ledge one time, and they wanted music for the ceremony and the reception. Trouble was, the ceremony was going to be down by the river, a fair ways away from the building. So I had to lug half my equipment down the hill, set it up in the blazing sun. After the ceremony, I had to drag it all back up the pretty steep hill, set it up on the patio overlooking the river and the area where the ceremony was, then after the cocktail hour was over, bring it inside the building for dancing. You can't pay someone enough to move the equipment that many times. There's a reason God invented Blazers.
Or the time I was down at Bay Pointe on Gun Lake, doing an outdoor reception, and some nasty thunderstorms moved through. We were in one of those big huge tents that you can rent for open houses and such, and it was set up just on a cement pad. I remember at one point the rain was coming down so hard, it was running under the walls of the tent and through the dance floor. People were dancing in the puddles while this storm was going through. I happened to glance down, and the outlet I had all my equipment plugged in to was about three inches off the ground, and there was a two inch deep puddle right under it. I thought sure we were going to have-no, I thought we were going to be the barbecue!
I remember the gross older bridesmaid that wouldn't leave me alone at Le Petit Chateau. She kept asking me to dance, and I kept trying to say no, because she smelled like cheap liquor and cigarettes, and the bride and groom were laughing at me. That was awesome.
I also remember the time that Grand Rapids Christian High School nearly rioted on me, all while the chaperons were having an emergency meeting in the hallway, after they made me stop the music. Imagine three hundred teens, all hyped up at their dance, and then imagine stopping the music. Not fun. They all started that Washington Redskins/Atlanta Braves/Florida Seminoles war chant, while staring at me, trying to get me to start up again. I almost packed up and left. I never did DJ for them again. My choice, not theirs.
All in all, I had a blast. I learned much about myself, about the world, and about wedding receptions. I gained an appreciation for all sorts of music. I gained an appreciation for public speaking. I was able to tinker with things, to try to fix things, to troubleshoot problems. I found confidence that I didn't have before, the confidence to run the show, the confidence to talk to complete strangers, the confidence to do what had to be done. I'm still working on it, but DJing was a great step for me. I am grateful to have had the chance to do it for so long.
It was a good season.
wingnut
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear its not too late
-words adapted from Ecclesiastes by Pete Seeger
-music written by Pete Seeger
-as performed by The Byrds, 1965
This past Saturday, I DJ'ed my last show for Complete Music. I entertained my last group of clients. I announced my last dollar dance.
It was a bittersweet day for me. I have been entertaining crowds big and small for ten years, and the horrible experiences were few and far between. I enjoyed it immensely: the music, the interaction, the people I met, my co-workers. It was a very positive thing for me.
I remember when I first started, I was amazed that my boss had the confidence in me to send me out on my own. I had no clue what I was doing, really...sure, I was trained, but three shows later, you're on your own. Luckily, my first show was a 10th anniversary party, not a reception. It was at the Ada Post of the Fraternal Order of Police, and I showed up three and a half hours early to set up and the place wasn't even opened up yet. So while I sat, I wrote down five or six pages of songs, and where they were, so I wouldn't have to look them up during the event. There were only about fifty or so people there, it was a real laid back party, and I had nothing to worry about. It went fine, and I got a $35 tip. Back then, that was a tank of gas and then some!
What followed was ten years of the craziest, busiest life you could want. I was all over West Michigan, as far north as Whitehall, Stanwood, Ravenna, south down to the border a few times, all the way to Lansing, Ann Arbor, Grand Ledge, even one show in Toledo, where my boss and I stayed up with the wedding party in their hotel room until the bride passed out at around 4am. Yeah. I'll bet they enjoyed what was left of their wedding night.
I DJed in most reception halls in the Grand Rapids area. I once tried to keep a list of everywhere I went, but the list grew to four single-spaced, double-columned pages, and I couldn't keep track after that.
I remember awesome shows, like when I was at the Harley Hotel and the bridal party kept giving me $20 bills to play "one more song". I ended up with $80, I think. Four songs. I'll do that forever!
Or when my friend Mike and I played a show together, and everyone was having a great time. After the show, the bride came and hugged both of us, we got a massive hearty handshake from the groom, who thought we did absolutely awesome, they couldn't ask for more. Until Monday, when they called the office and asked for their money back because of our piss-poor comedy routine that we were using. We weren't doing comedy. We both had microphones, and were joking with each other, but no stand-up.
Or the time Mike and I (again!) played a show at the Lansing Children's Museum. We both wanted to just play with all the cool stuff there and let someone else run the system.
Or the high school dance we did, where they actually put sawdust on the floor, and since it was a polished and waxed wood floor, the sawdust just made it even more slippery, and we could slide from one end of the gym to the other when we got a running start.
There were rough times too, just like any other job. I remember watching the groom at one show get into a fight with another guest, during the first song of the night! I can't think of a better way to ruin a reception.
I had to play at a place down in Grand Ledge one time, and they wanted music for the ceremony and the reception. Trouble was, the ceremony was going to be down by the river, a fair ways away from the building. So I had to lug half my equipment down the hill, set it up in the blazing sun. After the ceremony, I had to drag it all back up the pretty steep hill, set it up on the patio overlooking the river and the area where the ceremony was, then after the cocktail hour was over, bring it inside the building for dancing. You can't pay someone enough to move the equipment that many times. There's a reason God invented Blazers.
Or the time I was down at Bay Pointe on Gun Lake, doing an outdoor reception, and some nasty thunderstorms moved through. We were in one of those big huge tents that you can rent for open houses and such, and it was set up just on a cement pad. I remember at one point the rain was coming down so hard, it was running under the walls of the tent and through the dance floor. People were dancing in the puddles while this storm was going through. I happened to glance down, and the outlet I had all my equipment plugged in to was about three inches off the ground, and there was a two inch deep puddle right under it. I thought sure we were going to have-no, I thought we were going to be the barbecue!
I remember the gross older bridesmaid that wouldn't leave me alone at Le Petit Chateau. She kept asking me to dance, and I kept trying to say no, because she smelled like cheap liquor and cigarettes, and the bride and groom were laughing at me. That was awesome.
I also remember the time that Grand Rapids Christian High School nearly rioted on me, all while the chaperons were having an emergency meeting in the hallway, after they made me stop the music. Imagine three hundred teens, all hyped up at their dance, and then imagine stopping the music. Not fun. They all started that Washington Redskins/Atlanta Braves/Florida Seminoles war chant, while staring at me, trying to get me to start up again. I almost packed up and left. I never did DJ for them again. My choice, not theirs.
All in all, I had a blast. I learned much about myself, about the world, and about wedding receptions. I gained an appreciation for all sorts of music. I gained an appreciation for public speaking. I was able to tinker with things, to try to fix things, to troubleshoot problems. I found confidence that I didn't have before, the confidence to run the show, the confidence to talk to complete strangers, the confidence to do what had to be done. I'm still working on it, but DJing was a great step for me. I am grateful to have had the chance to do it for so long.
It was a good season.
wingnut
06 June 2008
Remember...
Remember that on this day, in 1944, nearly 160,000 men, young and old, from all across the United States, Canada, and Great Britian, slogged their way through sand bars and bloody water, up a beach torn apart by artillery and bullets, to bluffs overlooking the English Channel studded with reinforced concrete bunkers, in order to free Europe from the grip of facism.
Somewhere around 10,000 of them gave something.
Between 3,000-5,000 men took their last steps that day.
wingnut
Somewhere around 10,000 of them gave something.
Between 3,000-5,000 men took their last steps that day.
wingnut
05 June 2008
04 June 2008
Baby stuff
Shan and I talk about raising kids all the time. I think it's some new language that you learn only when you begin to replace yourself on this earth.
You see, when couples don't have children in the plans yet, they naively assume that they've got it all figured out. It will be a breeze, they tell themselves. All my friends with kids have shown me what I'm not going to do. They have made the mistakes for me, so I'm all set. Woe to you, you who speak from ignorance!
When babies do enter the plans, the conversations change. It starts all innocent, like, "Baby, when our kid gets here, do you think....".
You then have about eight months to figure out exactly how you're going to raise your offspring, what college your offspring will get mad at you for not paying tuition at, how best to potty train the offspring, how and when to discipline offspring, how other parents aren't raising their offspring correctly, and so on.
Once those eight months are over, you will have a detailed program, often running twenty to thirty pages long, single-spaced, containing information and graphs and tables, describing just exactly how you would like your little one brought up. One copy will go on the refrigerator, one copy will go into the fire safe with the homeowners policy and Grandma's pearls, and one copy will be distributed to every daycare provider and babysitter within a 100-mile radius.
After that, the little youngster arrives.
When you get home from the hospital, you will throw out the list, and start from scratch. Which is why, from then on, you and your spouse end up having all these relatively metaphysical conversations about how you will raise your child, while you are, in fact, raising your child.
You begin to almost wish that you lived farther away from everything, since the car ride to and from wherever is one of the best places to talk about the family, while the family itself sleeps contentedly in the back seat. Or plays with his rattle and drools everywhere.
It was one of those rides where Shan and I compiled a list of Five Essential Tools for every parent. Because we have a whopping four and a half months seniority on anyone still pregnant, we feel grossly overqualified to give out this list. This list is in no particular order, so just do yourself a favor and go out and buy all these items. You will need them.
1) A Boppy. These things are awesome. When mommy is nursing, they can prevent sore backs and arms. When baby is bigger, they can be a bed. Simply place on any soft area, cover with blankets, and presto! Baby insta-bed. We used ours when Eli was sick, to elevate his head so he could breathe better. We still use it sometimes, if he's down for a nap.
2) A travel system. Shan didn't include this one in her list, because she thought it was common sense. A car seat, with a detachable base, that hooks firmly into a stroller that can also be used without the carseat when baby is bigger: you really don't need anything else for babies on the go.
3) Receiving blankets. As many as you can afford. When baby is little itty bitty, they work great for wrapping him up like a burrito. They layer well. Since burp cloths apparently are not made bigger than a sheet of paper anymore, we use our receiving blankets instead. Eli has a tendency to hurl his half-digested formula a fair distance, in fairly large quantities, so the extra coverage is essential.
4) A jumper. When he's older, baby will love to jump up and down and play with the lights and toys. For times when baby wants to walk around, and mommy and daddy can't right now. He'll probably get so excited about his jumper that he'll barf every time he's in it. Eli does.
5) A bouncy seat. Serves the same purpose as a jumper, but before baby can hold himself up halfway decent. Eli's best friend for months one, two and three was Flizzard, a red genetically modified half frog, half lizard that hung out with him on his bouncy seat. Until they apparently got into a fight, and Eli requested that he be put in his jumper.
So there you are. Five Essential Tools for baby. There are other, probably more obvious things out there, but why cover those? You'll get those anyway, because that's what everyone buys babies and new parents. For example: we have enough baby shampoo to last Eli until he's got kids of his own. We have pacifiers enough to supply Mars Hill Kids for the next few seasons. We have enough blankets that we probably won't need to heat our house next winter.
But this list is things that you may not get for showers, and things that you will need in the future.
wingnut
You see, when couples don't have children in the plans yet, they naively assume that they've got it all figured out. It will be a breeze, they tell themselves. All my friends with kids have shown me what I'm not going to do. They have made the mistakes for me, so I'm all set. Woe to you, you who speak from ignorance!
When babies do enter the plans, the conversations change. It starts all innocent, like, "Baby, when our kid gets here, do you think....".
You then have about eight months to figure out exactly how you're going to raise your offspring, what college your offspring will get mad at you for not paying tuition at, how best to potty train the offspring, how and when to discipline offspring, how other parents aren't raising their offspring correctly, and so on.
Once those eight months are over, you will have a detailed program, often running twenty to thirty pages long, single-spaced, containing information and graphs and tables, describing just exactly how you would like your little one brought up. One copy will go on the refrigerator, one copy will go into the fire safe with the homeowners policy and Grandma's pearls, and one copy will be distributed to every daycare provider and babysitter within a 100-mile radius.
After that, the little youngster arrives.
When you get home from the hospital, you will throw out the list, and start from scratch. Which is why, from then on, you and your spouse end up having all these relatively metaphysical conversations about how you will raise your child, while you are, in fact, raising your child.
You begin to almost wish that you lived farther away from everything, since the car ride to and from wherever is one of the best places to talk about the family, while the family itself sleeps contentedly in the back seat. Or plays with his rattle and drools everywhere.
It was one of those rides where Shan and I compiled a list of Five Essential Tools for every parent. Because we have a whopping four and a half months seniority on anyone still pregnant, we feel grossly overqualified to give out this list. This list is in no particular order, so just do yourself a favor and go out and buy all these items. You will need them.
1) A Boppy. These things are awesome. When mommy is nursing, they can prevent sore backs and arms. When baby is bigger, they can be a bed. Simply place on any soft area, cover with blankets, and presto! Baby insta-bed. We used ours when Eli was sick, to elevate his head so he could breathe better. We still use it sometimes, if he's down for a nap.
2) A travel system. Shan didn't include this one in her list, because she thought it was common sense. A car seat, with a detachable base, that hooks firmly into a stroller that can also be used without the carseat when baby is bigger: you really don't need anything else for babies on the go.
3) Receiving blankets. As many as you can afford. When baby is little itty bitty, they work great for wrapping him up like a burrito. They layer well. Since burp cloths apparently are not made bigger than a sheet of paper anymore, we use our receiving blankets instead. Eli has a tendency to hurl his half-digested formula a fair distance, in fairly large quantities, so the extra coverage is essential.
4) A jumper. When he's older, baby will love to jump up and down and play with the lights and toys. For times when baby wants to walk around, and mommy and daddy can't right now. He'll probably get so excited about his jumper that he'll barf every time he's in it. Eli does.
5) A bouncy seat. Serves the same purpose as a jumper, but before baby can hold himself up halfway decent. Eli's best friend for months one, two and three was Flizzard, a red genetically modified half frog, half lizard that hung out with him on his bouncy seat. Until they apparently got into a fight, and Eli requested that he be put in his jumper.
So there you are. Five Essential Tools for baby. There are other, probably more obvious things out there, but why cover those? You'll get those anyway, because that's what everyone buys babies and new parents. For example: we have enough baby shampoo to last Eli until he's got kids of his own. We have pacifiers enough to supply Mars Hill Kids for the next few seasons. We have enough blankets that we probably won't need to heat our house next winter.
But this list is things that you may not get for showers, and things that you will need in the future.
wingnut
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